Being a woman … shoping should mean the world to me. It should be my own personal catharsis and the mall my personal shrine. The emphasis is on “should”. I hate it.
1.) The salesperson is not human.
If you need help … there is nobody around. If you are just browsing they are allllllll over you. Plus … they are injected with “snail speed toxin”.
2.) Parking is a destination to hell.
3.) People … a lot of people. CROWD … LINES.
4.) And my fav … a person … in line … behind u. Pushing the trolley UP YOUR ASS! FFS … step away from my butt!
Deluded 
My favourite hatred is sales people who say ‘this is a really good jean’ why f….ing singular it’s rubbish.
At this point I know I’m not going to buy and so I play this game.
Q: Are these a narrow fit? (said +ve ly)
A: Yes
Q: Shame I wanted something baggier really……
A: (helplessly) well they’re not that narrow
It works as well with a ‘loose fit’ obvious;y.
ah you see how small victories can be pleasing…
We don’t have a singular here….but I like your game. 🙂 It would go well at our local stores…I couldn’t stop noticing that sales people are older in small town shops and more eager to sell u….well….everything. If they don’t have what u want they just start pushing everything else they have stocked up.
And I hate the patronizing part at the end: “You won’t regret it.” or something similar. Like they want to make u feel u’ve made a purchase of the century.
re
we don’t have a singular here…
Neither do we… that’s where the ‘grammar fascist’ comes and seeks immediate and severe revenge.
Of course, the other game involves camera stores:
Q: what sort of camera do you have, Sir?
A: A pentax
Q: Me too! (…yeah…sure!)
A: Sorry… what am I saying? it’s a panasonic
(that’s put a stop to your f…ing patronising little game, you cretin)